talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
