You really coming over, don't trick.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
