Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
two words: eviction party
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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