there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Randomize
