yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
