As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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