Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
