i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
