i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Randomize
