Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
