wrigley field is MILF paradise
I just threw up on my dentist
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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