shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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