It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
