doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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