Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I bet he comes in French.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
