The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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