Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
