Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
