Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
How's work?
Spinning.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Found the puke drawer
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
