entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I smell like Dick and happiness
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
