everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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