i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
