So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
