Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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