after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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