Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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