that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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