I wish I could teleport
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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