Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
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