just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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