Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
