I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
