Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
