i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
