i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
