well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
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