My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I looked at my own cervix.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
