if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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