So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
