you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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