im gay
i know
yea but for you.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
