Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
