Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
