3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
