can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
