Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
