I'll bet she douches with gravy.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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