I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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