Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
