Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Randomize
