My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Randomize
