I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
