lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I see more hoeing in ur future
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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