I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
