Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Ketchup is God's man juice
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
