So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
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